Monday, October 3, 2011

Paitiently Waiting ...

So I'm not gonna lie and say its easy to be away from the love of your life for long periods of time not like anyone seems to think think that but after a month or two you sort of get into a routine. You start doing things more and more on your own and gain some sort of independence I suppose I'd call it and things get easier. You start becoming less afraid of going out on your own and I guess in some ways become a single parent. You always look forward to the hour when you know he's going to call, wait for the days you think he might have off and anxiously wait to see him even if its just a few minutes on Skype and then your days just go on from there.

Its a day to day basis with this kind of situation because you never know what to expect and you have the back of your mind running a million different things that can go wrong. Its also on a day to day basis because some days you can wake up and know your just one day closer to seeing him again and other days you wake up and he's not on his side of the bed and your heart just melts... Its hard the days you wake up and realize you truly are alone because you know your best friend is on the other side of the world and you do things wishing he was there, but then you remember just why it is you have decided to do the things your doing not individually but as a team. You both have decided what is best for the family and what sacrifices you have to make to be able to get where it is you want to be. There are definitely pros and cons to any decision made when it comes to decisions of the home but that is why you are a team and not one person can be stronger than the other because if one person is not confident in the decisions made the whole dynamic can and will change and it all ends up a messy situation. I am thankful for the partnership, relationship, marriage and bond that I have and I can say with pure confidence that we are making the right choices and appreciate all the opportunities but I can also say I have never missed someone so much in my entire life.

My husband Daniel Brown is currently working as a civilian contractor over seas. Currently he is stationed in Afghanistan. The first time around he went from Afghanistan to Iraq then back home after 5 months. His stay at home was short well to me it was short it lasted 4 weeks and then just as soon as he came he left again. So this time around it will be longer than the last he is not expected to be back until probably March or so and I can't say I never expected this to be the way it is you see Daniel (Boon, Cain all different aliases) is prior military Navy to be exact and some part of me has always felt that once you've served that is where your mind is you become a different breed of human, you see things others don't and you are trained to be who you are. Now in the whole time I've known my husband it never mattered what job he did he has ALWAYS given more than 110% in what ever he does he works hard and it never matters what it is he is doing whether it was changing tires, patrolling security, or  putting out fires in the Sierra Mountains he does his best BUT these are all civilian jobs in the civilian world where the structures are not the same and peoples work ethics are different and so being as miserable as he was making ends meet when this opportunity came along it couldn't have come at a better time and been more meant to be than it has been. The time we spend apart will all be worth it in the end we are sacrificing little to gain for the bigger picture to be where we want to be and to be able to do things we want to be doing.

After Marley was born things changed fast I was not able to get back to work because of the unexpected turn of events Marley needed me and he has always done the most to make it so I could be a stay at home mom and I am beyond grateful for it all. All though I cannot have him here everyday I know when he comes home I can have him 24/7 with his undivided attention (aside from the Xbox who I compete with lol) and our time spent together is something words cannot describe. I know there are thousands of military wives that have their husbands go out on deployments and wives who have husbands like mine that although they aren't military they still go out there and do what they have to do so the military can have all the things they need to make their jobs easier and possible, I am not alone when I say some days just suck and others just fly by so until the days get closer and until I can start my official countdown to his return I will sit here patiently waiting...

P.S I Love You Daniel Brown Now Always And Forever! 'Till Death Do Us Part

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